June 1, 2017
I walked out on the deck this morning only to realize that it was too cool to sit on the pollen covered chair and enjoy my morning coffee. A Northern California morning! That chill in the air that will give way to a glorious mid day.
I was on the deck last night, wondering why the crows I never hear, were kicking up such a fuss. Their calls went on and on until I went out to see what was going on. There like a looming Macy’s Parade balloon was a huge black cloud, covering half the sky and coming right toward us. I came in and unplugged the television from the cable connection and the electrical outlet. All it takes is one experience with a storm and the after effects to keep me vigilant. The stormed moved out quickly, the lightening close but not quite over head.
But that is only half the story. Decades ago while dispatching, I took a call from someone I had known years before. Like some very bright people, she was also quite eccentric and it appeared from the phone call to be getting more so. She said the deer in her yard were talking to her, telling her there were hunters on her property. So here I am these many many years later thinking back on that call and realizing she may have had a legitimate point. Although deer talk is still a mystery to me.
Animals are much smarter than we omnivores want to admit. Or is it because we want to think we are the supreme race? Like the incredible ability of the Monarch butterflies, to go from their summer home, to their reproducing place, then on to the winter place, with entirely new leaderless crew, most all life has a pattern of living and surviving that is to be admired.
My uncle lived on an island in Maine, not far from the mainland. Each fall, at the start of hunting season, the deer would swim to his and other adjoining islands until it was safe to return.
For those who have read my travel blogs, on our Dakotas trip, my traveling companion and I spent an afternoon watching trout play in a stream. Two or three trout took turns, swimming up stream to stay for a bit under the over hang of a rock, before swimming into the rush of water that took it down stream. This went on for the better part of two hours while we watched them and sipped vodka tonics.
I look back at the smidgen of my animal experiences and realize “talking deer” don’t need to be verbal at all. Much wisdom comes with age and experience if you are paying attention.
When considering how I think domestic violence can best be lessened I look to the law. I was a dispatcher for a police department in Connecticut, both pre and post domestic violence legislation. DV law has made a significant impact in decreasing intimate partner violence, educating us all on what is acceptable behavior in a relationship. Along those lines teaching our sons and daughters how to treat others, starts in the home and school, on the playground, ball field, and any place people gather. Mental health plays a more significant role than I would have thought. Verbal abuse, physical abuse and a sort of water torture of threatening actions goes on in too many homes. Alcohol and drug abuse are major factors as well.
Over the past twenty-two months I have assisted both women and men victims of domestic violence, file for Restraining Orders. I don’t work with the victims whose incident…
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When considering how I think domestic violence can best be lessened I look to the law. I was a dispatcher for a police department in Connecticut, both pre and post domestic violence legislation. DV law has made a significant impact in decreasing intimate partner violence, educating us all on what is acceptable behavior in a relationship. Along those lines teaching our sons and daughters how to treat others, starts in the home and school, on the playground, ball field, and any place people gather. Mental health plays a more significant role than I would have thought. Verbal abuse, physical abuse and a sort of water torture of threatening actions goes on in too many homes. Alcohol and drug abuse are major factors as well.
Over the past twenty-two months I have assisted both women and men victims of domestic violence, file for Restraining Orders. I don’t work with the victims whose incident ended in an arrest, those are handled by the Advocates working for the DA’s office. I work with walk-ins, in one of Massachusetts’ busiest courts. The law pertaining to obtaining an RO is fairly clear and when people fall out of those parameters, Harassment Orders can be an option. However, HOs are a minefield of problems and while created to address rape by a superior officer or in a work place, harassment complaints have become the dumping ground for everything else, from homophobic neighbors, to stalking, threatening with three incidents of the situation. Because of their complexity, HOs often end up as a two party hearing before being granted.
As an advocate and court volunteer my opinion, is mine alone, but comes from over four decades of observation, consideration, and occasional conversation with those who work in the field. I would like to see both laws changed and in the following ways.
Restraining Orders for all the good they do are not weapon proof, nor do they cover people who co-habitate, but are not in an intimate relationship; are dating, related by blood or marriage, or have a child(ren) in common. The occasions are rare, but do exist where someone needs a RO, but does not fall under these relationships.
Harassment Orders need to be separated into two different laws. One that addresses neighbor disputes and one that harkens back to the original intent of sexual assault. Stalking in and of itself is a very creepy, disturbing act. and three incidents are two too many.
For those who are the defendants in these cases, men or women, more sentencing needs to be toward Batterer’s Intervention. A forty week program, where the participants need to pay to attend, and where probation depends on their participation and attendance. Anger management isn’t the same.
This is one prong of help for victims, a small step toward Eliminating Domestic Violence, but this is for one of fifty states. One of fifty states in a country that respects woman more than too large a portion of the rest of the world.
Education, laws that protect, batterer’s programs, counseling, and for the few who need them, safe, comfortable shelters.
Susan A. James Clark
Director Intimate Partner Violence Project, Inc.
I wish I had the time to edit this, but I am in the process of getting a grant requests out. Carol Woessner this is for you…….our first? bear “sighting?”
In the beginning isn’t a Biblical blog, merely the beginning of my return to writing and my travels. There are days when words spilleth over and others when I wonder why anyone reads blogs at all. The intent of Ramblinggirl is mainly to chronicle travels, whether they be nearby trips to the beach, or my travels through this wonderful country of ours. Generally the big trips are with my long time friend and former Connecticut neighbor, Carol.
We don’t recall the actual beginning of our annual trips, except for a few to Rockport, Massachusetts where there is a family home. The year after those trips Carol and I went to Maine. Then there was a trip to visit Carol in California. The next year we went to Montana and this is where the telling begins.
We met in Spokan, Washington at the airport. Since Carol and I come from…
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Once I arrived in Oklahoma City to catch a Delta flight to Albequerque, my computer time ended. For in Albequerque I met up with my friend Carol . For those of you new to my blog Carol and I used to be neighbors in Connecticut and have been friends since we met Halloween night, 1968. We have been traveling the US together since she moved to California many decades ago.
I turned in the car and headed for the airport. It was a beautiful day and I had a couple of hours to spend before I needed to get to the gate. Arriving early to airports is a compulsion of mine. Since having my knees replaced it can take a while to get through security.
The day was beautiful and the area between the rental car return and the entrance to the Will Rogers Airport, was planted with lovely trees, shrubs and flowers. I sat for over an hour watching people coming and going. Finally it was time to leave the pleasant outside for the “waiting room” aspect of the airport. I cleared security and headed toward the gate.
From Oklahoma City I flew to Salt Lake City, Utah and changed terminals and planes to continue on to Albequerque. I arrived in Albequerque at 10:30 PM and called the hotel shuttle driver. Leg 2 was about to begin. New Mexico, State 50…..or maybe 49. That will be addressed in the next posting.
I stopped at a little town for an iced coffee. There is no shortage of McDonald’s on this trip so my coffee needs are fulfilled along with pit stops. The parking area had a list of the churches. The only one I recognized was a Methodist Church. This is most assuredly the Bible Belt. Next to that were engraved stones set into a brick wall with all the awards of the various high school sports teams in the town. State Champs in football in the 1980s had each player name. This just made me smile. There is the Friday Night Light pride around here.
Brownville, Nebraska is picture postcard adorable. That was my pull into Nebraska and turn around and head into Kansas. I crossed the Missouri river which is the dividing line between the two states. I didn’t need coffee so I went in to the Lyceum which was a book store, restaurant, and travel info spot. I bought 2 books…one cookbook and another. Both are very small….and locally published…and used. Good deal…..1.50 in all. Tried to get post cards, but none existed in any of the 3 stores that were there and only one open. The Lyceum….although I was sure they spelled theirs with an S. I’ve not seen any post cards on this trip.Then through Kansas. I complete this leg of the trip tomorrow in Oklahoma. Everyone I’ve ever talked to about Kansas talks about FLAT. I was again in rolling hills….beautiful landscape, punctuated with industrial grain precessing plants, I suspect. Once again, Black Angus cows grazing on grass…..oh yum. But the thought of those animals going off to feed us, made me wish I were a vegetarian. I admire those who are, but can’t seem to do it for more than a few days.
Which brings me to lunch. At a truck stop….the Sac and Pac somehow associated with the Sac and Pac Casino next door, I bought a turkey and cheese sandwich wrapped for all eternity…oruntil May 29, so well that I thought I was going to have to go back in and ask for a knife. Since it was nowhere near the expiration date, I ate it, sitting on a bench watching people gas up their cars. I had driven at least an hour and a half with exits ever 30 or so miles and a couple with no services at all. So that is why I ate at the Sac and Pac……right off the road/highway ? Another day of an under $5.00 lunch. I did not go to the Casino. Had I felt the need there were two more just a couple of miles up the road.
Now it’s time for dinner. Tonight, because Wichita is a nightmare to get around in, I will be eating Italian. Not on my list of wants, but it should be fine. It is just up the street from the hotel.
From: saj04 <saj04@aol.com>
To: saj04 <saj04@aol.com>; AClark <AClark@naco.org>; dclark0760 <dclark0760@sbcglobal.net>; npjames <npjames@npjames.com>; lupersing <lupersing@gmail.com>; CFWo <CFWo@aol.com>; NLL1942 <NLL1942@verizon.net>; LaelMorgan <LaelMorgan@cs.com>
Cc: melissa7 <melissa7@san.rr.com>; CHIEFMPD1 <CHIEFMPD1@aol.com>; jacphip <jacphip@verizon.net>; guth <guth@post.harvard.edu>; pam.arv <pam.arv@verizon.net>; dweggler <dweggler@norwich.edu>; kbrilliant <kbrilliant@fenwayalliance.org>
Sent: Mon, May 6, 2013 8:26 pm
Subject: Re: From the Road
Last night was interesting. The hotel is next to some train tracks. Loud whistles woke me every couple of hours. And the pillows…..I’ve not figured out what Hampton Inns are doing with their pillows, when I woke for the final time I found I had flung 2 on the floor. The remaining two seemed better the last leg of last night.This morning @ breakfast, I ended up sitting beside a Hospice Chaplin from Sacramento, who was home visiting family in Memphis. We talked for at least an hour. Then all the way up in the elevator and in the hall. She was a lovely way to start the day. I have been struggling with a spiritual practice I am trying to integrate into my life, and it was one she knew and loved. So that sparked another discussion.I left Memphis in the rain, around 9:45. I pulled in to Fayetteville, Arkansas around 5:15. Dick Aucoin said no matter how fast you drive figure 55 mph with stops and all. He was right on the money. I think this leg was 350+ miles and I would have gotten in earlier had I not taken the ramp heading south bound after gassing up 7 miles from here.Arkansas is just ugly on the East side. Hours of farms. Thank God for them, but with nothing growing but grass and winter wheat on the land, few trees to hide rows of double wides or houses sad and unloved, I understood why the Clintons moved to tony Westchester County NY.The highways are 2 lanes with one lane of trucks……semis for as far as the eye can see. Sometimes passing and slowing down the car lane. It’s not an easy drive in that regard.The Chevy Malibu that I have has Satellite Radio. I’m not crazy about it as the programing on what is NPR like isn’t always the same. Good but different. And more country music than anyone should be subjected to. It’s a work in progress for me. OH and a talking GPS on Board which is nice, but she can’t pronounce street names any better than Lady Garmin. I think I’ll mail my GPS home.Then trees…..more trees…..mountains…..I was in the Ozarks. I know life off the main thoroughfares can be tough, but around the edges there is beauty. The Boston Mountain Range is where I am now. Tomorrow I will take one of the loops through the mountains. It will be another long hard driving day, up into Nebraska and down through Missouri, but before I set out I hope to spend some time off the main highways. I can hear you tsk tsking this hell bent trip, but except for the nicest people and good bbq, this is a fast trip. OH YUH Walmarts and more XXX Adult Super stores than I’ve ever seen. Gives you an idea of how little there is to do around these parts.Ravens are amazing birds, soaring along the highways looking for road kill. They seem to have staked out each mile as if by invisible markers. And out of no where came a Great Blue Heron…..just as I was so sore and exhausted I wasn’t sure I could make it the last hour. I suspect it has a home along the Arkansa River. It crisscrosses Rt 40, like the Delaware Water Gap along Rt 80. in upstate NY.The sky today as i headed West was beautiful cloud stripes of fluff with sky blue in between. It was a lovely sky to watch. It’s getting near sunset and looking like I might be heading in to a day of sun tomorrow. There was so much I wanted to report, but it is gone…..I wish I could write and drive too. I’ll try that tomorrow.From the Road……SuePS . I mailed my book to New Mexico so what else do I have to do?
I am going to post my “From the Road” emails here. They are rough and sent from a guest office in the many Hampton Inns I stayed in along the way. But they tell the story of the journey, now a distant past. An accomplishment without all the hour by hour you will get some of here. This appears to be day 2 perhaps day 3.
ramblinggirlblog 